Starting the game
-
When the game starts, you are eye-witnessing a meeting between some underworld
figures concerning the downfall of subliminal recordings (things like satanic
verses and hidden messages when you play records backwards or at highspeed
or both) due to the increasing success of the CD. On the other hand things
aren't going good either with pornography sales. That's why they were concentrating
themselves on pornographic home rental videos, but due to the increasing
market of sex video channels on TV, this market isn't going too well either.
One thing is for sure, as you will learn later in those cutscenes I won't
mention, they're trying to do something about this, namely by the election
of America's most sexiest woman (here's the link with Larry) and by bribing
politicians through C.A.N.E. (Conservatives Against Nearly Everything).
This scene gives you some background information on Patti's mission in
the game.
-
Next you see another meeting issuing the election of America's most sexiest
woman. She has to appear in America's most sexiest home videos. We are
at the company where our good old friend Larry appears to be working as
"chief tape degausser" or something like that (it is for sure an executive
job). After a few preliminary rounds, the selection team ended up with
three finalists, one of which has to be choosen. The commitee agrees that
during the final selection none of the girls may be aware of the fact that
she is being auditioned, because she would certainly be sexy if she knew.
Therefore they are in need of a man, so sexless and some more "lesses"
that it would really require the most sexiest woman in America to drop
for him.
-
And here the game starts.
Larry at PornProdCorp
-
While you are wandering around (bored as usual) in the entrance hall of
PornProdCorp, you hear your boss screaming for coffee. Take the coffee
pot and enter the door at the left. In your well-known clumsyness, you
manage to spill it all over your boss. Although he gets angry at first,
all of a sudden a lightbulb appears above his head. You are ideal for the
job, he even offers you a job as vice-president of the company if you succeed
(1).
-
He hands you over a mini-camera, the latest "Auto-focus, auto-level, auto-color
balance, auto-room, auto-pan, .5-lux, Complete-Video-Studio-in-a-Pocket-Protector"
or in other words : "The Rob Lowe Model" (1). So, here is your mission.
Go and find all three finalists and film them at their sexiest moment.
-
You'll wind back up in the entrance hall of your company. Take a drink
from the water cooler (1). Also take a look at the strange thing to the
right-hand side of it (no, not the plant). It appears to be an award (1).
For fun, you could put your hand in the electrical outlet close to the
coffee machine.
-
Now enter your workshop (in the upper left of the screen, around the corner).
First of all, take the three tapes lying on the television set in the right-hand
side lower corner of the screen (6). Now, disinfect your hands (1), and
degauss all three tapes (6). It's your job, you know how to do it. In case
not, the degausser is on top of the workbench at the right-hand side, the
disinfecter is hanging at the ceiling to the east of it. Open the leftmost
drawer of the workbench, and you'll end up with a battery recharger (8).
Now walk to the right a little and then click your hand-cursor on the device
just above the leftmost drawer. It's your radio (5). You can select your
favorite tune if you want.
-
Leave your workshop and enter the files-room (the only door left in the
entrance hall, you didn't enter yet). Look at the desk and take the Aerodork
Gold Card from it (5). Now open the upper drawer of the right-hand side
frontmost file cabinet. Take the three resumes from it (8). Examine each
of them in your inventory (3). Look at the three new items (1) (you got
the point for finding Doc. Pulliam's phone number, a number you'll "need"
later on). Now you know where you'll be heading during the game : New York,
Atlantic City and Miami.
-
So, you're done in here. Leave the building (right-hand side of the screen),
take a look at the statue (1), take a leak at the memorial fountain, and
enter the limo that's awaiting you. You can do whatever you want in here,
but don't spoil your energy, nothing works and the driver will only take
you to the airport.
| Points in this section : 48 |
Total points overall : 48 |
Larry at Los Angeles Airport
-
Did you notice the trashbin to the left of the entrance door to the airport
lobby. Forget it, you need the device to the west of it (that television
screen kind of thing). Look at it. It's an ATM (Automatic Ticket Machine)
Terminal. Insert your Aerodork Gold Card into it. Select New York as your
first destination. Enter the appropriate code and take your boarding pass
(4) from the slot. (You need your sheets with transport codes here. You
did buy the game, didn't you. If not, tough luck. Go out, find the nearest
software retailer and buy it.)
-
Now enter the airport. Go to the left. Put your battery recharger in the
electrical outlet (8), then place your camera on it (3). Look at your camera
and take it back when it's 100% powered (1) (be carefull, electrocution
is lurking around the corner). Put a videotape into your camcorder (4).
-
For fun, you can walk back to the center of the airport lobby, wait until
both ladies are off-screen and go to the right. Don't try anything with
the ladies or the phones. It's useless. Reading add's is also useless,
but maybe you'll learn something.
-
So back to work now. Show your Aerodork Gold Card to the camera (9), enter
the Chartreuse Lounge, make a complete fool of yourself by sitting on the
chair, and enter your boarding pass into the slot when you hear the boarding
call (7).
-
Once in the airplane, make sure to take the Aerodork Magazine from the
seat in front of you before you fall asleep (8) and start dreaming about,
you'll never guess, Patti.
-
After a little intermezzo, you know that Patti has been sacked and immediately
got hired by the FBI afterwards. And this means Patti-time.
| Points in this section : 44 |
Total points overall : 92 |
Patti in the FBI-Lab
-
After being updated on your mission and being introduced to Commander Twit,
what's in a name, start exploring the lab. Look at the researchers to see
the explosive brassiere (Hooter Shooter) (3) and the Vibrator (3) in action.
(Talking with Commander ... also shows you both demo's, but no points
in this case.)
-
Then go to the right, undergo the paperwork, and only remember the contact
phone number (1). There is no need to overload your brain. In case you
already forgot, here it is again : 556-2779. Look at the
researcher to see the Flatulence demo (3). (Here again asking Commander
Twit about this man's research would show you the demo, but you won't gain
any points for it.) Now enter the door at the right-hand side to get
a "Safety First Field Locator Device" implanted in your ... yes, it's a
men's world. Try to neglect the doctor.
-
So, you got rid of all those interfering men. Leave the lab through the
back door at the left-hand side of it. Enter the limo and try out the contact
phone number (556-2779). Select either of both choices offered
and receive a fax with additional information on one of your missions (13).
Do this again to receive some information on your second mission (13).
-
Leave the limo and enter the lab again. Go to the right-hand side of it
and take the two cartridges (Datapacks) from the desk (if you forgot to
read the previous paragraph you'll receive your points now, but I'm sorry,
you'll have to do without the enjoyment of receiving faxes). Then take
the Dataman (5).
-
Go to the left and take the Hooter Shooter from the desk (6). Look at it
in your inventory (2), and wear it (5). Leave the lab and enter the limo
again. Finally, some quiet and peace, what a terrible noise in that lab.
-
Take the bottle of champagne (6), insert the Reverse Biaz Datapack into
the Dataman (7), and show the Dataman to the driver (8). So, you're on
your way to "des Revers Records". And now back to Larry.
| Points in this section : 75 |
Total points overall : 167 |
Larry in New York
-
Still dizzy after your dream, you decide not to make a fool of yourself
again and to do the obvious thing. You go down to the airport lobby. The
first thing you notice is a charity canister. As charity always comes first
with you, you check it out. A quarter! (5) Now, it's time to start reading
add's. Keep on doing this until you discover the phone number of Faboulous
Checkers Limo Co. : 552-4668 (1). Go to the rightmost side
of the airport lobby, and use your quarter on the first phone from the
left to order a limo (3). Leave the airport and enter the limo.
-
Notice the thing lying at your left. Someone forgot his appointment calendar.
Take it (12). And of course, look at it in your inventory (11). So, your
coffee break (where was the coffee anyway?) is over, you still have some
work to do. Take the Hard Disk Cafe napkin and show it to your driver.
-
After arriving at the Hard Disk Cafe, take a good look at the entrance.
Don't those plants look ideal for a little leak after that huge amount
of coffee a few minutes ago. I know, it's all in the mind but walking behind
the plant at your right, proves my point (1). Now enter the Hard Disk Cafe.
-
You could take some time exploring the museum, but what the heck, you can't
do a thing, unless you'd like to ennoy Bertha a bit. Why not, and while
you're at it, take a close look at the pink machine at the left of the
door in the back. Does it work? Nope. You need some kind of tape. Let's
have a word with the Maitre d'. He doesn't seem quite coorporative. Don't
let it bother you, just keep on talking and yes, sometimes words can be
magic. He finally agrees to allow you entrance to the Cafe (to get rid
of your nagging) and makes you a membership tape (3). Take the tape from
the machine (4). Insert it into the slot of the pink terminal and enter
the Cafe.
-
Sit down on that empty chair and don't forget to look at the beauty walking
by. Guess what, it's your "target" : Michelle Milken (3). You see here
entering the Herman Hollerith Room. So, what are you waiting for, go after
her. What a mess, your membership tape isn't working. Time to be creative
again. Leave the Cafe, and when you're back in the museum take your time
to read the Aerodork Magazine (click on it with your hand-cursor) (5).
Now, use your tape on the music box at the left-hand side of the screen
(12). Hope this works out. Let's try it. Enter your tape into the slot
of the terminal and all of a sudden your name is Hyatt. What happened to
Laffer.
(There is another way to gain entrance to the Hollerith Room. You
could start working on that Maitre d' again, but this time talking won't
do the thing. You gonna have to use your credit cards. And you're not upgraded
to Hyatt (John?) but to Superuser Larry. Not to mention that your scoring
won't reach the dazzling 1 000 points at the end. Also forget about completely
satisfying Michelle after this.)
-
Insert your tape into the terminal inside the Cafe to enter the Herman
Hollerith Room (12). Now turn on the tape recorder in your inventory (4).
Start talking to Michelle (the women you're looking at in case you where
wondering where to find her). Wow, she invites you to join her for dessert.
Now talk a little bit to her until she asks you if you don't happen to
have some cash she could invest for you. Yes, you have it. ACT QUICK NOW,
if you keep on talking or don't react fast enough, you'll immediately hand
it over to her and it might be a good idea to keep it for the great finale,
certainly when gaining points is your primary concern. So, first hand over
your Day Trotter to her (5), then the credit cards (5) and finally the
cash (5).
-
She proposes to make your booth a little more private and gives you the
time of your life (40). Luckily you recorded this (20). When you return
in the museum, use the phone to call Checkers Limo Co. again (Bertha finally
stopped chatting) : 552-4668 (2). Get out, enter the limo
and you automatically return to the airport.
-
Outside the airport, operate the ATM-terminal and buy a ticket to Atlantic
City (4). Enter the Airport Lobby, put a new tape in your recorder (the
previous one will automatically be removed), recharge your recorder at
the electrical outlet at the left-hand side of the lobby, get electrocuted,
show your Aerodork Gold Card to the camera again, insert your boarding
pass into the slot, and off you go, to Atlantic City.
| Points in this section : 157 |
Total points overall : 324 |
Patti at des Revers Records
-
After almost being raped, but showing that you're not the easy type, enter
the building. Take a look at the sign at the left. Notice "des Rever Records"
being listed, look at it (3). Talk to the sleeping guard once. Then show
him your Reverse Biaz fax or your Dataman with the Reverse Biaz Datapack
in it (6). He'll call the elevator for you. (Talking to him again would
also do the trick, but no points awarded.)
-
Now inside des Revers Records, first go have a look at the gold record.
Take it (12). Put it on the turntable, start the turntable (the middle
button of the three at the left) and start playing the gold record at all
speeds and directions you can, (switching speeds with the two buttons at
the right and switching directions with the two extreme buttons at the
left) in each case waiting until you hear a "ping", indicating you heard
enough. You should try out the following four possibilities :
-
33 1/3 tpm forward (3),
-
33 1/3 tpm backward (3),
-
78 tpm forward (3) and
-
78 tpm backward (3).
Except for the first message, these are all subliminal messages, in case
you thought it's normal to here such things on records. Turn of the turntable
and take the gold record with you as evidence.
-
Look at the guy behind the window. He invites you in. Enter the door at
the left from the window. So now it's time to play your piano session,
Desmond so kindly arranged for you. You'll have to do three takes. In the
first two, you can try to play your own favourite tracks. The last one,
Patti takes over from you, and obviously she's better at it than you (8).
-
Then Reverse Biaz invites you in to the recording room to listen to your
piano solo. AS SOON AS YOU GET THE CHANCE, offer him some champagne to
celebrate your successfull musical performance (18).
(Of course you could try your zipper on him (if you're a little over-
or is it undersexed or completely frustrated), or just keep on talking
to him since he's a man and you're a woman, again however, you receive
less points in these cases.)
-
When he's completely drunk, he even gives you some more evidence on his
subliminal recording activities. You get a tape from him (40). Once outside
again, enter your limo and show the P.C. Hammer fax or the Dataman with
the P.C. Hammer Datapack in it to your driver (don't wonder why Patti still
wants to enter that car after what he did to her before, by the way, did
you notice that his hair color is black when he's raping and blond when
he's driving).
| Points in this section : 99 |
Total points overall : 423 |
Larry in Atlantic City
-
Is it my imagination or was that really Bill Gates who was in the picture
a few minutes ago. Anyway, leave the boarding room to the south. In the
lobby go to the left. Play the second slot-machine from the left. You win
... a quarter (5). Start reading add's again until you see the phone number
of Tramp Limo Service : 553-4468 (1). Then go over to the
right and use the second phone from the left to call a limo (3). Leave
the airport, enter the limo and show the Tramp's Casino matchbook to the
driver.
-
At the casino entrance, talk to the girl at the left twice. Say any number
and you'll receive $10 (2). Now enter the casino and click on any Video
Poker Machine to start playing (4). Raise your bet to the maximum possible
amount and save your game. Keep on playing until you have about $1 000
($525 would be enough, but to be on the safe side, make sure you have some
reserve), raising your bet every time you win and saving immediately afterwards.
If you forget to save and end up broke, you can always return to the girl
at the entrance to receive another $10.
-
Now, cash out and enter one of the doors at the back, pay the bouncer his
$25 and take a seat (in the front row). As soon as Jennifer Jiggles shows
up, look at her (8). Now leave the casino and go on the boardwalk (to the
right from the casino entrance). Stay away from the edge, because you'll
have to swim back if you end up in the water. Walk four screens to the
east and enter Ivana's Skates.
-
Walk over to the counter and talk with Ivana. She wants you to give a deposit
in turn for a pair of skates. Instead, give your camcorder (8). (Giving
her the money she asks, will result in less points, since you won't get
it all back when you turn your skates back in. She notices a small nick
in a wheel. She always does but she can hardly give you back a part of
your camcorder, can she? They always find something, don't they?) Leave
the shop, go sitting on a bench and wear your skates (3).
-
Start skating over and back on the boardwalk, close to the edge until you
bump against Lana Luscious, you second "target" (6). If you miss her, try
to start talking to her instead. When you're sitting on the bench with
her and have her in close-up, start talking to her until she invites you
to her Mud Night Madness Wrestling match (2). When she's gone, take off
your skates and turn them back in. Get your camcorder back (3).
-
Return to the casino (walking to the left, otherwise you could walk for
hours), or swim back if you like. Enter the ballroom again and talk to
the bouncer again. Pay him his $500 (if you don't have it, you will have
to go playing poker again) and choose "Lemme at 'em!" (12). Now turn on
your camcorder and take a seat (in the front row again).
-
You'll wind up in the mud with Lana. Try to click on the body parts flying
around. Don't get desperate. Things slow down after a while. Finally, she
gets interested in you, but "bucephalus" doesn't perform in front of 900
people (40). Oh boy, do you regret you recorded all this (20). After this
humiliation, you'll end up back outside.
-
Talk to the guy and ask him to order you a limo (2). Once you're back at
the airport, buy a ticket to Miami from the ATM-terminal outside (4). Now,
change tapes again, recharge your camcorder as before, enter the boarding
room and board your plane, direction Miami. Dreaming time again.
| Points in this section : 123 |
Total points overall : 546 |
Patti at K-Rap
-
Since you're at your destination, and could stand there forever, why don't
you enter. Make sure to look at the Dataman with the P.C. Hammer Datapack
inserted. It's rewarding (1) and now you know the access code for Mr. Krapper's
office. (You can also read that access code from the fax, but this way
you won't get a point for it.) Go to the door at the left and enter
the access code into the combination lock : 45954. Now enter
Mr. Krapper's office (1).
-
Take the letter opener from his desk (4). Now it's time to take a good
dig in the tree's pot. Hey, what's that, a glimpse of metal. Take the desk
key from the pot (10). Open the desk with the desk key (13). (Opening
it with the letter opener also works, but you lose some points with it.)
-
Now, things get pretty tricky. If you don't like to end the game with 999
points out of 1 000, be sure to LOOK (by using the eye-cursor) in the desk
drawer (5). (If you start grabbing in it right away, you will gain one
point less.) Carefully note down the access-code for Control Room B
from the blue stickum, it's random each time you play the game. If you
missed it, you can take a look at it again later. Now take the confidential
folder out of the desk drawer (5).
-
Take a look in the folder, yes ... incriminating evidence (4). Of course,
you could try to take the folder with you, but eventually someone would
notice and who knows what would happen than. So, walk over to the copier,
and "xerox" the folder (12). Technology doesn't seem to be your best friend,
look at yourself now.
-
If you already forgot the access code from the blue stickum, this is the
moment to take a look at it again. If you're sure you noted it down correctly
and I mean SURE, since you can't come back again, return everything to
its original place : the folder in the drawer, the letter opener on the
desk and the key in the tree's pot. Don't even consider that someone could
conclude from a look at the copier that you've been messing around here.
Now enter the door to the left. Lucky you, you're in the bathroom and there's
a shower on the west wall. Enter the shower (7). How embarrassing.
-
Luckily for you, after your trip ends, you notice some clothes hanging
on a standard. You don't even have to think, just grab them (1). Since
you don't know the code to get back up, you can kill some time by doing
some window-shopping but eventually you have to end up at the extreme east
side of the recording studio. Enter the code you noted down (you still
remember, don't you?) from that blue stickum into the combination lock
at the right-hand side of the door close to the microphone standard and
enter Control Room B.
-
Go over to the back and take a tape from the shelve (4). Place the tape
on the recorder in the lower left-hand corner of the screen. Now, click
your hand-cursor on the mixing panel until you hear "2 Live 2 Screw" incriminating
theirselves (you'll have to click 6 times or 7 times, if you count the
first click that doesn't have any effect on the mixing panel) (8). Go over
to the tape recorder, click on it and start recording your second piece
of evidence down here (4).
-
Unlucky again, P.C. Hammer notices you and blocks your way out with that
heavy microphone standard and leaves. Luckily you see the code he enters
at the elevator (don't bother, you don't actually get to see it). OK, your
way out is blocked, let's try something else then. Click on the tape recorder
to stop recording, click again to rewind the tape and once more to take
the tape with you (7). Now walk over to the microphone hanging over the
mixing panel, aim it towards your mouth and raise the control room speakers
volume to an ear-piercing level. So, time for a high note, talk into the
mike. Oh Yeeh, you broke the window, but you found your way out (15). Time
to go back home.
| Points in this section : 101 |
Total points overall : 647 |
Larry in Miami
-
You're getting used to it, enter the aiport lobby. Go to the left and check
out the cigarette machine. Well, you're in Miami, two quarters this time
(5). And the next one is also becoming a habit, start reading add's. You
have to find two phone numbers. The first one is a contact number to obtain
a Green Card : 554-1272 (1), the second one is, you already
guessed, the North Beach Limousine Rentals phone number : 554-8544
(1).
-
Now start calling, using the third phone from the left. Let's try Doc.
Pulliam (554-3627) first. Nope, line busy. The Green Card
then (554-1272). You're lucky with this one (7). Of course,
you also need a limo to get out of that depressing airport (554-8544)
(3). Leave the airport and grab the Green Card from the trashbin (12).
(You don't really need this Green Card, but if you're going for the
points, make sure you have it.) Enter the limo and show Doc. Pulliam's
card to the driver.
-
So here you are, obviously in front of Doc. Pulliam's Dental Hygiene Heaven.
Enter the door on top of the stairs. Walk over to the table at your right-hand
side and take the doily from it (5). Go over to the window in the back
and knock on it. Don't get discouraged. Knock again. This time the lady
seems to be more willing. But you have to answer a lot of questions. Here
we go (13) :
-
Do you have dental insurance? Yes
-
Do you have LOTS of dental insurance? Yes
-
Are your teeth overly sensitive? No
-
Are you allergic to pain? No
-
Do you ENJOY pain? Yes
-
Do you enjoy sharing your pain with others? Yes
-
Do you enjoy mechanical objects in your mouth? Yes
-
Do you enjoy other people's hands in your mouth? Yes
-
Do you enjoy rubber in your mouth? Yes
-
Do you swallow? Yes
-
Have you ever heard of AIDS? No
-
Do you know anyone who has ever hired a lawyer? No
-
Do you know the definition of "malpractice"? No
(You don't have to fill out this questionnaire to enter the doctor's
cabinet but it's kind of fun, and rewarding.)
-
Now, since it seems to be the case you'll have to wait a lot of months
before you will be able to see Chi Chi Lambada, it's time to start thinking.
Hey, what's that phone doing over there. Sit down and give the Doc. a call
(554-3627). Stand up, wear the doily (8) and knock on the
window again. Well guess what, you are recognized as the patient of her
collegue Dr. Payne (no kidding), and get instant treatment (17). (This
would also have happened if you didn't fill out the questionnaire and forgot
to give the doctor a second call from her waiting room.)
-
So, you're sitting in the chair, and look who's coming, "target" number
three : Chi Chi Lambada. Look at here and start playing with her button
until, yes ... it opens (2). Now start talking to her, but don't talk to
much. When she asks you if you can help her out to become a "documented"
worker, you have to REACT FAST. Go into your inventory, turn on your camcorder
and take the Green Card. Hand it over to Chi Chi (15).
-
Wow, who could ever have dreamed this, she invites you over to her apartment
(40). (You would also have been invited to her apartment if you didn't
give her your Green Card.) Being a real athlete, you're of course happy
you recorded all this (20).
-
Back outside, humiliated again, you only have one thing to do. Your mission
is completed, so you have to get back home. First enter the Doc.'s waiting
room again and use the phone to order a limo (554-8544).
Go back outside and enter the limo. At the airport buy a ticket to L.A.
(4) and board your plane (no more camcorder recharging).
| Points in this section : 153 |
Total points overall : 800 |
The Big Finale
-
Did you ever hear of Leisure Suit Bogey and Ingrid Patti? Well, now you
have. However, be prepared to start looking and reading a lot and doing
more or less nothing, because from now on, they're throwing points at your
head. Our good old buddy Larry is dreaming when all of a sudden the pilot
of his plane decides to stop working. You know what that means, a 90 degree
turnover of the plane, straight to mother earth.
-
Heaven knows why, but you wind up in the cockpit with only one mission
: save your life. Just start clicking on the control panel (with your hand-cursor
of course) and you will manage it (100). Being the big hero of the day,
your luck doesn't end. You get a phone call from the president, telling
you your heroic intervention also saved the life of the vice-president's
mother. Out of gratitude, you are invited over to the White House for a
dinner.
-
In the meantime, we join our heroine Patti in ... the White House. Because
of the splendid way in which she accomplished her task, Desmond arranged
a performance for her in the White House (the pour boy is in love). Imagine
Patti's surprise when she sees Larry entering the dining room. After a
lot of shit-shat about how they got separated (Patti even mentions Larry's
amnesia, what crudeness, he never stopped dreaming about her), the three
of them (yes, good old Desmond doesn't give up, but I have to admit, Patti
encourages him a little bit) end up at the vice-president's table.
-
Completely against her will and Larry's will, Patti gets involved with
the big guy sitting at her left-hand side (your right-hand side). During
that conversation Larry hears the name of the show he's working for being
mentioned and starts to understand where the money behind the show came
from. After Patti hears the name Julius, she also starts thinking (first
time this game) and finds out this was the guy she was after all this time.
Stupidly enough, she cries it out loudly. Now, being gunpointed at, she
only has one more thing to do. Use that Hooter Shooter and see what it's
worth (100).
All information on this page © Fezan Asghar
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